Day 204

It has been a whole 204 days since I made the monumentally ridiculous decision to stop drinking all of the lovely drinks. that’s loads of days. In amongst those 204 days there have been some super awesome drinking lovely drinks type opportunities which for some reason…still unbeknown to myself, I have not taken. The reason this is unbeknown to me is because, as I may have mentioned before, I am really rubbish at sticking to stuff. Especially when that involves not doing something I like. Like drinking lots of lovely drinks.

Anyway, the point is, I’m still here only ruddy well doing it! I haven’t felt much like writing about it until now….which is another excellent example of not sticking to stuff. and I was feeling a bit worried that anyone who has the odd little read of my blog might think that the silence had been bought on by the shame of necking pinot every night. But its not, I’m just a bit lazy. Huzzzahhhh!

Also, I am still a completely mad person with lots of lovely drugs and my best friend the therapist so not much has changed.

I actually don’t really miss drinking all of the lovely drinks any more. This fact makes me question everything about myself I know to be true….but I really don’t. I don’t think about it much anymore and if I am with people that are having a lovely drink I dont necessarily always want to harm them. This absolutely must be because I have grown as a person. Ace.

I do however, still miss having something to look forward too. And by something to look forward too I mean a bottle of lovely wine to make me feel better. The tiny weeny little problem with this is that I am yet to find a healthy yet fulfilling alternative..and thankfully my best friend the therapist has not suggested a bath again because she is a very astute person and has probably realised it was ridiculous.

So what I am doing is I’m eating. I’m eating and eating and eating…and what was a problem that was sidelined whilst I concentrated on being less mental, has now become an even bigger problem. For. Goodness. Sake.

Its all ok though as I am super determined that I am going to ask for all of the help I can take. I have already been to see my doctor, and have been referred to people who can help me figure out why I do what I do.

HH is now into his 9th week of his placement. It’s totally rubbish that he is away all week but I have found a new exciting programme to watch that he wouldn’t enjoy because it is not about war. Also, its about surgeons and I’ve watched it so much I could probably remove an appendix without too much trouble.

It can be tricky with HH being away, but luckily we have the weekends together as a family. The first thing HH and I like to do upon his return is annoy each other. Sometimes we wait until we get home and he makes an knobby Dietician innocent comment about what yogurts I have bought for the babies. But sometimes we really excel ourselves and manage to irrittate each other on the car ride home. Im not placing any blame at all…but it is usually because HH has come home with a new terrible ailment. This weeks was a bunion.

Because I am a loving  wife, I do of course want to know absolutely all of the information about said bunion. I will also gladly listen to all of the moaning about it. but occassionally, I do get a teeny weeny bit fed up and possibly say something along the lines of “shut about about your ruddy sodding foot you massive big baby”…or something. Which I think is perfectly understandable given the circumstances.

Today I am grateful for the following*;

1 – Having a HH that worries when I don’t answer a text

2 – Internet banking

3 – My whole ruddy family

Toria x

*It is a given that I am absolutely always grateful for all of the coffee.

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